So last Saturday, god that was a while ago, I went out with Broodlez and... umm well I don't know his username on here. Anyway, we all went downtown. It was my first real taste of being a part of this world. I have to thank Broodlez for pushing me to go talk to girls. Otherwise I would have just done my usual thing. Have a panick attack and look awkward. Anyway, I had my first real set of sets. Not too many mind you, I only did 3. When you are in a bar and you are fighting off a cold it is very hard to project without knocking crap loose. This was just getting out there and trying so these sets were not too long, nor did I get much past the transition stage... if I got there at all.
So anyway, my opener to the three sets was Do Drunk I Love Yous Count? The answers came back with two Nos and one Yes. The Nos were really loving girls who tell everyone they love them when drunk. My mind generally went blank at this point. Mostly because of my social anxiety. Generally I tried to neg them... at least I think I was negging. I would say they must love me then. Generally though those sets were not going anywhere. I would have a rocky transition. I had an easier time with the Yes. Mainly because we could be a little philosophical about things.
The yes basically said that booze unrestrains your system. You are as honest as you can get when drunk. It was fun discussing that concept and some of the stuff they told me. Mainly because they tended to contradict themselves. However, like usual I ran out of things to say. When that happens I panic and excuse myself.
Either way this was a success for me. I approached more females during that night than I have my entire life. So it was a good confidence booster to see the girls smile and not just blow me off. I am pretty confident that I can go out on my own this weekend and do a few sets as well. I have finally started down the path. :D Feels good.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Backlogged
So recently I have been having random encounters with females... I guess that is why I keep on forgetting to make field reports.
Anyway at my convention I had one more short encounter with a couple of girls during the rave. I say short because I had a hard time making out exactly what they said because we were in the rave. I could tell they were practically screaming based on the motions of their mouths. There was not much that we talked about aside from me giving them hugs. >_> I have a feeling they were talking about my character a bit... but I could not make things out as the trance music drowned them out because they stepped back a little. I had difficulty hearing when I was not in the room with the rave going on.
My second conversation came on Monday. I was waiting for a table at Buffalo Wild Wings. When a girl from Florida came out to smoke. I was still kind of out of it because of my anime convention. However, she started talking to me. Mostly she was talking about the contrasts between my state and her home state. Those are things I try not to comment on. It is hard to know when I am going to offend someone or not. Again I kind of wussed out because I could have talked about my experience with just wanting to travel... but I didn't... I mean she was not that attractive... then again I guess I need the practice with my social skills.
At my convention I thought about approaching some girls. However, I had a hard time figuring out how to make it look spontaneous since they were on the other side of the room, and there were not many people in the Bar. This was during the rave. So my opener would have been something along the lines of "So you 3 look like ravers. Care to explain raver fashion to me?" or "I am trying to figure out why ravers dress they way you guys do". However, like I said I could not find a way to get over to them. Plus my friends were being kind of whiny....
Anyway, that is all for now. This weekend my sister claims she wants to go bar hopping with me... but... I have my doubts.
Anyway at my convention I had one more short encounter with a couple of girls during the rave. I say short because I had a hard time making out exactly what they said because we were in the rave. I could tell they were practically screaming based on the motions of their mouths. There was not much that we talked about aside from me giving them hugs. >_> I have a feeling they were talking about my character a bit... but I could not make things out as the trance music drowned them out because they stepped back a little. I had difficulty hearing when I was not in the room with the rave going on.
My second conversation came on Monday. I was waiting for a table at Buffalo Wild Wings. When a girl from Florida came out to smoke. I was still kind of out of it because of my anime convention. However, she started talking to me. Mostly she was talking about the contrasts between my state and her home state. Those are things I try not to comment on. It is hard to know when I am going to offend someone or not. Again I kind of wussed out because I could have talked about my experience with just wanting to travel... but I didn't... I mean she was not that attractive... then again I guess I need the practice with my social skills.
At my convention I thought about approaching some girls. However, I had a hard time figuring out how to make it look spontaneous since they were on the other side of the room, and there were not many people in the Bar. This was during the rave. So my opener would have been something along the lines of "So you 3 look like ravers. Care to explain raver fashion to me?" or "I am trying to figure out why ravers dress they way you guys do". However, like I said I could not find a way to get over to them. Plus my friends were being kind of whiny....
Anyway, that is all for now. This weekend my sister claims she wants to go bar hopping with me... but... I have my doubts.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Tired and Distracted
So believe it or not I actually managed to talk to some females. The girls in question where about a 10110100. I was one who was approached. The advantage of cosplaying at an anime convention. Girls get super excited when they see guys doing their favorite characters. I am cosplaying as Dr. Stein, for those who care. Anyway, her opener was OMG STEIN CAN I HAVE A HUG!!!!. So I got a hug and then a picture. Then she tried to continue the conversation about cosplaying. We shared very basic talk, mostly yes no and nodding. At the time I had been separated from my group. So I was looking around for them. Around that time my social anxiety kicked in as well, because they were pretty cute. So I was looking for a way out so I could go find them. In the end she said she wanted to get a better picture of me with her camera, not on her at the time. We went our separate ways. The fact that I had been up for about 15 hours... and walking around the con all day.
The lesson I learned was I am still to anxious around girls. Girls at the cons are really trying as well... at least I think they are. I had another girl talk to me in line last year, while waiting in line. Once again, I was sleep deprived and it was early. Both really tried to keep the conversation going... and well anxiety and exhaustion.... keeps me from getting anywhere.
The lesson I learned was I am still to anxious around girls. Girls at the cons are really trying as well... at least I think they are. I had another girl talk to me in line last year, while waiting in line. Once again, I was sleep deprived and it was early. Both really tried to keep the conversation going... and well anxiety and exhaustion.... keeps me from getting anywhere.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Calm Before The Con
Right now is the good part of the time before the con. My mind has finally snapped the stress I have been feeling because I have been lazy with my costume. There is nothing left to do but finish it tomorrow. Of course the wig is terrible. Lucky for me I have a wig so I only need to spend $5 on one can of spray on gray color. Anyway, my thoughts turn to the chance that this really is.
An anime convention, where anime fans get together and mingle. For the most part it is a chance for jail bait to get away with wearing... well nothing in public for a couple of days. After all anime girls rarely have modest outfits. It is a place where we all go for... roughly 50 hours of pure anime fun. Normally it involves lack of sleep. Couple that with lack of food and walking all day and you get some loopy people. Lucky for me I found glow things for cheap :P.
However, I am forced to think back to last year when I was alone. I could not talk to anyone, I was terrified of the people around me. I wonder if this year will be different. I am taking some friends with me. However, both are as reclusive as me. So I wonder if I will be able to do any approaching or talking for that matter. It is sad because I have the easiest cheesiest opener and transition for this occasion. Since pictures of cosplay are... well expected. You simply open by asking to take a picture and transition by asking about the costume. However, last year I managed to hide and look for groups of camera people to take pictures. I don't know, it is just kind of stressful.
I am disappointed because I had a burn out last month and did not go out at all. Then this past couple of weeks I have been stressing out about my cosplay. It just sort of spirals out of control. Plus I have no idea which game to use... I mean yes this takes place during the day... however... there are night elements as well. I don't know.... part of me is scared I will hit on a 14-year-old as well.
Anyway, anxiety anxiety... all it does is hold me back.... you would think that a single guy in his mid-20s who is cosplaying would not care what others think... I don't know... hopefully I will have a good report for when I come back.
An anime convention, where anime fans get together and mingle. For the most part it is a chance for jail bait to get away with wearing... well nothing in public for a couple of days. After all anime girls rarely have modest outfits. It is a place where we all go for... roughly 50 hours of pure anime fun. Normally it involves lack of sleep. Couple that with lack of food and walking all day and you get some loopy people. Lucky for me I found glow things for cheap :P.
However, I am forced to think back to last year when I was alone. I could not talk to anyone, I was terrified of the people around me. I wonder if this year will be different. I am taking some friends with me. However, both are as reclusive as me. So I wonder if I will be able to do any approaching or talking for that matter. It is sad because I have the easiest cheesiest opener and transition for this occasion. Since pictures of cosplay are... well expected. You simply open by asking to take a picture and transition by asking about the costume. However, last year I managed to hide and look for groups of camera people to take pictures. I don't know, it is just kind of stressful.
I am disappointed because I had a burn out last month and did not go out at all. Then this past couple of weeks I have been stressing out about my cosplay. It just sort of spirals out of control. Plus I have no idea which game to use... I mean yes this takes place during the day... however... there are night elements as well. I don't know.... part of me is scared I will hit on a 14-year-old as well.
Anyway, anxiety anxiety... all it does is hold me back.... you would think that a single guy in his mid-20s who is cosplaying would not care what others think... I don't know... hopefully I will have a good report for when I come back.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Burning Out
So this week I have been going through a full-fledged burn out. I have had several unexpected expenses this month. Right now, I only have like $50 to my name. I don't get paid until next Wednesday. I am also worried because I need to finish off my cosplay for NDK in a couple of weeks.
Couple this with my disappointment in myself for not going out. It is just layers upon layers. I was hoping to have a little experience before heading to NDK. ^_^ then again I would not have the proper experience I think... I believe Anime Conventions are more Day Game than they are night game. However, I have always been unclear on that. Plus I will be going with my friends who are more ambient anime fanatics. I don't know... I think I am over thinking and over plotting again... this is a habit I am trying to break. I guess there is always my college homecoming....
Anyway, my mind has been reeling... I sometimes feel like this is not a path for me.... Like I should recluse in and focus on my anime website. Then I remember I am trying to change... lying around at my apartment drinking, playing video games and watching anime is what turned me into the wreck I am now. I won't ever give up the video games and anime, but I will try to go out. I don't know.... I think part of me only wants to do this to say I can... then there is the part of me who wants to try to run the "How To Talk To Girls" panel at an anime convention in a couple of years. I went to one a couple of years ago... it was laughable at best. Just the guy running it asking girls for their opinion and the girls saying "Girls are complex".... I am a bit more out going now... maybe I will go to that panel. After the 2nd or 3rd girl says "Girls are complex" i can say something like "Yes so is a rubix cube".
Anyway my mind has been overactive and I cannot fall asleep, despite being beat from the gym. I just needed to confess and clear my thoughts.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Still on Day Zero
[SIZE="5"][U][FONT="Impact"]Still on Day Zero[/FONT][/U][/SIZE]
Since this weekend was the first weekend in August. I am sure some people might be expecting me to have some kind of field report for this weekend. Sadly there is none. My lack of sleeping has finally caught up to me. I was pretty sick Friday and a chunk of Saturday. Then my inner game was a bit out of whack for Saturday night. Overall this has been kind of crappy weekend for me. I can only really off excuses. None good, I feel like crap because in the end I am only hurting myself. I need to buckle down and get through the rest of the emotional progression model.
Anyway, over the past couple of weeks I had some random conversations. Now that I am a bit more ware of how a good conversation works, I am noticing some stuff. For starters, sometimes I rush what I say. I know what I am trying to say, but everything comes out smushed together. When I correct myself, I do so in a semi-panicked tone. I do not know why I do this. I am trying to work on it... however... I still have a problem with my mind going blank when I am trying to socialize.
Yet another problem I have. When placed in an unfamiliar social setting I tend to freeze up. Today was a perfect example. A waitress at Old Chicago was commenting on my hat. She said it was a cool hat. When I tried to explain to her where it was from I had a hard time finding the words. When asked a question my mind just went blank. I can blame my crappy mood for this as well. Hell I had not showered or shaved... I looked like I just feel out of bed and did not feel like cooking for myself. Oh well chance missed, it happens.
Finally, I have been paying more attention to conversations I have. I am noticing how boring Yes/No conversations are. My friend tends to get stuck in those kinds of conversations. He will just start talking. All of his questions will be a yes or no question. I can tell when he thinks I am not listening. It is really hard to force his question into a discussion. Especially when I agree with what he is saying. I always find it hard to have small talk. Maybe I am just over thinking.
Anyway, I am going to rest up and work on finishing up the chapters on the Emotional Progression Model. That way I can head out and do my one encounter. I guess I need to spend some time this week looking for bars to go too. Maybe my company will have a happy hour and I can go spend time with them and then do my one conversation on my way out?
Since this weekend was the first weekend in August. I am sure some people might be expecting me to have some kind of field report for this weekend. Sadly there is none. My lack of sleeping has finally caught up to me. I was pretty sick Friday and a chunk of Saturday. Then my inner game was a bit out of whack for Saturday night. Overall this has been kind of crappy weekend for me. I can only really off excuses. None good, I feel like crap because in the end I am only hurting myself. I need to buckle down and get through the rest of the emotional progression model.
Anyway, over the past couple of weeks I had some random conversations. Now that I am a bit more ware of how a good conversation works, I am noticing some stuff. For starters, sometimes I rush what I say. I know what I am trying to say, but everything comes out smushed together. When I correct myself, I do so in a semi-panicked tone. I do not know why I do this. I am trying to work on it... however... I still have a problem with my mind going blank when I am trying to socialize.
Yet another problem I have. When placed in an unfamiliar social setting I tend to freeze up. Today was a perfect example. A waitress at Old Chicago was commenting on my hat. She said it was a cool hat. When I tried to explain to her where it was from I had a hard time finding the words. When asked a question my mind just went blank. I can blame my crappy mood for this as well. Hell I had not showered or shaved... I looked like I just feel out of bed and did not feel like cooking for myself. Oh well chance missed, it happens.
Finally, I have been paying more attention to conversations I have. I am noticing how boring Yes/No conversations are. My friend tends to get stuck in those kinds of conversations. He will just start talking. All of his questions will be a yes or no question. I can tell when he thinks I am not listening. It is really hard to force his question into a discussion. Especially when I agree with what he is saying. I always find it hard to have small talk. Maybe I am just over thinking.
Anyway, I am going to rest up and work on finishing up the chapters on the Emotional Progression Model. That way I can head out and do my one encounter. I guess I need to spend some time this week looking for bars to go too. Maybe my company will have a happy hour and I can go spend time with them and then do my one conversation on my way out?
Sunday, July 10, 2011
The First Post
My main goal with this journal is to record what I see as I walk down a path I never thought I would walk down. The path to becoming a PUA, ladies man, player, whatever. I felt I needed to make this journal now. I say now, because I need to at least have a start. My plans are to start going downtown to bars in August. I might go more than once a week. However, right now the minimum is once a week. I need to get a little practice before NDK. NDK is just the start for me though. To be honest I am hoping that come NDK 2012... if I am still in this state...I can start looking for a more serious relationship. I stress the word hope. I have no idea if I will accomplish this goal or not. We shall see what I want in a year. Maybe I will just be making notches on my wall right?
Since I feel the need to waste more blog space. Let me talk about some of my metaphors. I borrow a lot from Japanese metaphors, I am an otaku after all. Generally the Japanese use the term "Burning" to describe someone who is passionate. While I do not believe my metaphor is 100% correct. I choose my current name of A Froze Soul, as sort of a play on their metaphor. I lack passion and a zest for life. The whole point of this quest to change is to give me or of a passion and zest for life. So right now I am frozen, cold, lifeless. I admit it, I am not ashamed to admit it either. The first step to recovery is to admit you have a problem right? That is where my naming comes from.
Hopefully this journal will give me the ability to indulge a habit of mine, the habit to over analyze. I will likely come up with some obnoxious system for labeling things... anyway. Now this journal is here. I have no excuses to not start trying come August.
Since I feel the need to waste more blog space. Let me talk about some of my metaphors. I borrow a lot from Japanese metaphors, I am an otaku after all. Generally the Japanese use the term "Burning" to describe someone who is passionate. While I do not believe my metaphor is 100% correct. I choose my current name of A Froze Soul, as sort of a play on their metaphor. I lack passion and a zest for life. The whole point of this quest to change is to give me or of a passion and zest for life. So right now I am frozen, cold, lifeless. I admit it, I am not ashamed to admit it either. The first step to recovery is to admit you have a problem right? That is where my naming comes from.
Hopefully this journal will give me the ability to indulge a habit of mine, the habit to over analyze. I will likely come up with some obnoxious system for labeling things... anyway. Now this journal is here. I have no excuses to not start trying come August.
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